Fudagraphy Blogography

Beside the Jewish Museum, Berlin, Germany

Piper and Friends, Berlin, Germany

Piper took it, Berlin, Germany

What the picture says it is, Berlin, Germany

Jewish Museum, Berlin, Germany

Berlinische Gallery, Berlin, Germany

Some Place, Berlin, Germany

U-Bahn Station, Berlin, Germany

U-Bahn Station, Berlin, Germany

Leon from Disconnect 4, Dublin, Ireland

Leon's Friend, Dublin, Ireland

The creepy doll winked at me, Berlin, Germany

Two cat statues carefully placed among women's shoes, Berlin, Germany

Someone's collection of GI Joes - they liked the black dude evidently, Berlin, Germany

Hipster mom with hipster in training, Berlin, Germany

Police on the Street, Berlin, Germany

Public Movie, Berlin, Germany

Someone's luxury Appartment, Berlin, Germany

Gorlizter Bahnhof Station, Berlin, Germany

Kruezeberg Wall Art, Berlin, Germany

Sign at Checkpoint Charlie, Berlin, Germany

Hello Berlin Wall. I thought you were a huge nail covered rat spitting snake crawling fortress of hell. Instead you are an unimpressive lump of concrete separating one side of the middle of nowhere from the other side of the middle of nowhere. It’ s so sad to separate one parking lot from another; what if one parking lot is full and there is nowhere to park one’s Trabant (East Berlin Manufactured Car)? If you are not very tall you have to back up like 10 feet so you can sees what is on the other side.

Checkpoint Charlie, Berlin, Germany

In truth, what is left of the wall is still there because it is the most interesting thing in the area which is full of parking lots on one side and a river on the other. Also, it is a pretty cool ongoing art exhibition of graffiti artists from around the world.  The majority of the hideous concrete monster is long gone (or being sold in the hundreds of dumb museums around Checkpoint Charlie). You can’t really understand the wall until you visit the areas where it was torn down. They literally threw up a wall in the middle of a fucking city in order to make it two. Imagine Queen street East and West separated by a wall and the only way to cross is to dress like a patrol guard or fly over in a hot air balloon. You would never be able to visit…whatever is in Queen East. Oh! The Opera House is in Queen East. I hate that place.

Nazi Era Post Office Sign, Berlin, Germany

 There are so many photography books showing how shitty the wall was. Most of the photos I have seen show children playing beside the wall, birds flying over the wall or graffiti of a black hand holding a white hand with doves flying above, or old men reading papers and glancing over the papers in order to see that there is a huge concrete wall in front of them. The graffiti tradition comes from the West Berlin people defacing their side of the wall (which they did not like or want).

Hi Mom, Berlin Wall, Berlin, Germany

Also, I am not entirely sure if the largest remaining portion of the wall beside Kruzeberg always faced parking lots because they tore down a whole lot of stuff in order to build it and make it an effective enclosure. Here is a quote from the Berlin site on the “Death Strip” of the wall.  “The strip was covered with raked gravel, making it easy to spot footprints, it offered no cover, was mined and booby-trapped with tripwires and, most importantly, it offered a clear field of fire to the armed guards – who were instructed to shoot on sight”- Berlinlife.com.  

Piper Vs. Berlin Wall, Berlin, Germany

You really have to walk along the longest strip of the wall to understand how depressing it is. Add to that the 300 watchtowers, barbed wire, and armed guards defending it which are no longer there. This wall is one of the few remaining icons of the cold war, a period in history where a nuclear war seemed like a real threat to an entire generation.

Piper Vs. Berlin Wall II, Berlin, Germany

In November, it will be the 20th anniversary of the wall coming down – Piper tells me she was 5 months old when it came down so her memory is a bit sketchy, but I was 8 years old and I actually remember being annoyed that everyone was so excited about an ugly wall covered in graffiti in a far away planet called Europe was being destroyed. Who cared?

Berlin Wall Art, Berlin Germany

 I saw a Magnum photographer give a talk this summer about his trip to Berlin 20 years ago. He said he came here because it was cheap and he wanted to party and pick up girls. One night he asked a group of kids what they were up to. They said there were going to go hang out at the wall because they thought it was going to fall that night. He brought his camera, snapped a couple of photos and then 10 years of student debts were erased with what would become the first photo of the wall falling down. He also said that for the next 20 years he was given nothing but political assignments because he had a reputation of “being in the right place at the right time”. Somehow I doubt my photos today are as politically significant, but if you want to pay $30 000 for any of them I will throw in a free body massage.

Berlin Wall section turned tourist trap, Berlin Germany

Someone's Dirty Kid, Berlin, Germany

A Photo of a photo of a poster - which for some creepy ass reason says "Josef Fuda"

Bathroom where I had to stand on my toes to pee. Evidently people in Berlin only pee with erections from across the room.

Berlin is turning out to be a real Frankenstein of a city architecturally. There are very nice old buildings (which have a new gloss to them since they were mostly destroyed in WWII), really ugly communist blocky buildings and some very interesting newer twisty and winding buildings which threaten to whoosh you back to the future at any moment. I walked around the area of Mitte which is supposed to be the most tourist saturated area.

Yes She Can.

The fashion sense among the people I see here is quite different from what I experienced when I saw Berliners traveling abroad. Perhaps because I have not gone out at night yet I haven’t really seen what the younger population dress like. What I do know for certain is that an edgy Berlin haircut consists of something normal with random sections shaved by the town’s children. Mostly there are about 30 variations of the Mohawk which I intend on documenting in another post.

Berlin, Germany

In some random shoe store I found a photo of a poster which had what appears to be my name. It still kind of creeps me out because the odds of that happening are pretty astronomical. My guess is that I have been here before, but in the future and I wrote this down to send a message to myself and right before I leave I will see my future self gunned down before my eyes. That sounds similar to the plot of “12 Monkeys” – but I assure you it is not.

Berlin, Germany

I have a morbid agenda of trying to observe the damage from WWII. If there is a building in town with any original parts on it, they have bullet holes or repaired bullet holes of a different color than the original building. Postcards around town all have black and white photos showing the damage to Berlin after the war thanks to massive air bombing campaigns by the Allies prior to troops rushing the city. There are entire green hills which are nothing but mounds of war rubble, countless war memorials and a very odd number of newer buildings built beside (or sometimes INSIDE) historical ones around a town structure which is mostly a very easily navigated grid layout.  

Neues Museum, Berlin, Germany

There isn’t a weight I expected here surrounding the war monuments, perhaps a sign the people here have begun to shake off the guilt of a generation they had no part of. The people here are so friendly to English speaking tourists that I don’t even bother to try and speak German as people are more than glad to help out in broken English. I would say 90% of people I talk to speak at least some English.

Tierpark, Berlin, Germany

If you have ever seen photos of Berlin, you will know that there is graffiti everywhere. Mostly it is just people tagging their names so it just makes the whole city look like a ghetto. Have you ever seen the movie “The Warriors” where there is graffiti everywhere – that would be very similar to what modern day Berlin looks like without all the gangs. I don’t know if Berlin has a gang problem because I have only visited the touristy parts – but if they do, they probably eat lots of Nutella.

Bullet holes in a wall from WWII, Berlin Germany

Is it just me or does everyone sound like they are reciting passages from Beowolf? I don’t understand a damn word anyone is saying to me! Everyone could be threatening to kill me and I would still be smiling and laughing and eventually ask to take their photo before they use their large reaper sticks to send me to the river styx. Do I have to give the boatman Euros or Canadian coins? It's getting late and I walked a lot. Look at the photos - they can speak for me.

Holocaust Memorial, Berlin Germany

Guy trying to impress a girl at the Holocaust Memorial, Berlin Germany

Holocaust Memorial, Berlin Germany

Photo of Couple I took in front of Opera House, Berlin Germany

Concert House, Berlin Germany

Schloss Bellevue "The German Whitehouse", Berlin Germany

Art in Hamburger Bahnhof, Berlin Germany

Man walking, Berlin Germany

Girl creeped out by some dude, Berlin Germany

Fernsehturm Tower, Berlin Germany

 

Piper in a Photoautomat, Berlin, Germany

I had one day left in Paris. Piper had been sick with a bad ear infection for three days so we missed the last day of the festival. Fortunately on the last day, “Them Crooked Vultures” were the surprise band of the festival. Who the hell are “Them Crooked Vultures”? A bunch of no hit nobodies who consist of Dave Grohl, Josh Homme, and the former Keyboard and bass player for Led Zeppelin John Paul Fucking Jones, and some dude whose name I forget. So I would have had some kick ass photos of some of the most iconic rock stars of the past half century but instead I watched “Observe and Report” on my laptop. Just so you know, Dave Grohl, Josh Homme, and John Paul Jones are not in Observe and Report – otherwise it would have been basically the same thing. Also, Prodigy, Eagles of Death Metal, Metric and the holy reincarnated Jesus were also at that festival on that particular day. I don't blame Piper, she probably would have died if he pumped the sound of a jet engine into her ears so those greasy dudes can all go bum eachother.

Louvre, Paris, France

On the day we left we finally saw the light of day. We went for breakfast at Paris’s worse Creperie (right across from Louvre if you want to eat some crap) and walked alound pointing at families of happy French rats in the Louvre gardens. My flabby arse will miss Paris and the five sandwiches, six coffees, and two pounds of chocolate it has been fed daily since I arrived. I hear they have very large bottles of wieners in Germany which you can get just about anywhere.

Louvre, Paris, France

On the way to Gare De L’Est (train station) we were treated to Europe’s slowest cab driver. He slows down for yellow lights, sits patiently as families unpack groceries an apple at a time on a two lane road, and likes to circle a train station because he really wanted to work for that 0% tip we forked over to him for all his troubles. Thank you Mr. Cab driver. I think he mentioned that he usually drives for funerals in parades.

Louvre, Paris, France

Have you ever taken an overnight train in Europe? I thought I would be fancy and paid extra for a bed. I will spare you the details but let me just say being cramped six in a room no bigger than a bathroom and being awoken in the dark dead of night by a boot wearing German screaming something that was probably quite friendly is a truly horrifying experience. Also the foreign dude (is he still foreign if I am in his country) beneath me snored like an orchestra 3rd seat trombone.

My feet, Somewhere on a Train, Germany

I Arrived in Berlin. Berlin is very green. It is a truly ugly as hell city – but it is very green with 1/3 of the city being trees.. Poor Piper wanted to kill me when she saw that our apartment was across the street from a construction site and the front doorway had more graffiti than – I don’t know a simile – it looked like junkies would be too good to come here to shoot up and die.

Buildings, Berlin, Germany

It’s quite exciting to be so close to Checkpoint Charlie and what is left of the Berlin Wall. When I was a child my mother gave me a piece of the Berlin wall in my stocking with a certificate. It’s a piece of concrete which I am sure has appreciated in value every year since 1990. Where the hell did I put that thing? If you have no idea why there was East and West Berlin I will give you a very brief, very insulting to German culture summary.

Hotel, Berlin Germany

American and Soviets liberate Berlin for Nazi assholes and set up “let’s watch these crazy German’s” zones; some are American, some are Soviet. The American’s and Soviets don’t get along very well post war and things start getting “cold”. The zones start becoming designated soviet areas, or American areas. America introduces a new currency in their zones; the soviets do the same in their zones. People like the more liberal less communist “Americana” Zones and all the brains and youth leave the Soviet area of the city for American until they build a wall to keep everyone in. Pink Floyd play a concert and the wall flies apart through the sheer force of rock N roll. Matt Damon makes “The Bourne Identity” and Berlin is once again national headlines. That’s about it I think.

Appartment Buildings, Berlin, Germany

 

Dublin, Ireland

I began this trip promising to myself that I would do a detailed and thorough telling of my daily activities while in Europe. I promised myself that I would return to my blog of old where I didn't complain about some shitty Toronto apartment and would relax and thrive in the chill that is European life. The power cord for my computer broke the first day I arrived in Dublin. I have spent 13 days e-mailing, chatting, and calling dell support from every type of electronic device except my computer until I broke down and bought a €35 Euro Cable across the street from my apartment in Paris. I could rant and rave about how terrible Dell computers are, about the agony of having a digital camera in Paris with no way to remove the photos to continue shooting, or about getting sick the day my girlfriend arrived to join me and Paris and then getting her sick so we end up sitting in the apartment while the sounds of motorcycles outside taunt us like some greaser gang with our blonde girlfriends tide to their Hogs - but I already did - just now.

Dublin, Ireland

I spent a few days in Dublin Ireland as I didn’t get a chance to see it properly when I was working in Galway last year. It took me a few days to see the charm of Dublin because the architecture is quite boring compared to most European cities I’ve seen and that is usually my favorite part. Some of the most interesting walks were along the river that runs through Dublin where the buildings are all attached in what seems an endless row. It is pretty funny to think that if you were locked out of your house that the backyard is a two and a half block walk from the front doorstep. Given that there are more pubs in Dublin than grocery stores I am not sure if that was a common problem.

"Rowdy Boys" Dublin, Ireland

If you are looking for interesting architecture, check out the pubs in Dublin. That is where all the money has been going for generations and it shows in some of the beautiful stained glass entranceways, detailed wood work and elaborate bar backsplashes. Ireland has been labeled by history as a “place to get pissed” and rightfully so. It rains every 5th second in Ireland and the produce grown here seems to have all its flavor exported to Paris – so going out for a pint seems like the only logical choice.

"The Funeral Suits" - Dublin, Ireland

I was staying with a fellow Greg from a great band “The Funeral Suits”. I went into the studio with them were they are demoing for their forthcoming album and did some stills and video work of the process. Greg was a great host and had two Garda (Irish Policemen) living with him. What that means to anyone who doesn’t live in Ireland is that his house was always stocked with the confiscated beer of red headed minors. His Garda roommates were very entertaining – I sat for hours as they very often beat down prostitutes and crashed school buses via their X-box and Grand Theft Auto.

"Greg of The Funeral Suits" Dublin, Ireland

I also helped Leon from “Disconnect 4” complete some footage I did in Galway last year. He is using the footage to make a video for one of his songs. It was great to see him a year later and hear everyone talking about how great and well his band is doing in Dublin. When I went on tour with them last year they had only played a few Dublin gigs and now they are playing there at least once a month and have a few London shows behind them as well.

Église Saint-Eustache Paris, France

One broken computer and two days later I was in Paris and had only 30 minutes to throw a baguette down my throat before my friend Ed and I were headed to Vichy, the self proclaimed “Asshole of Paris” to see our former house mate and current friend Noemi marry a French guy whose name was actually Pierre. (It’s ok – she is French too so it wasn’t too cliché).

"Bourse de commerce de Paris" Paris, France

Vichy has a pretty crappy reputation throughout France which my good friend Ed grumbled to me as we made the three hour journey. Vichy was the center of the government for Nazi occupied France. Vichy is a lovely country town which has nice regional cheese and some pretty famous mints that come in a blue can and also has the unfortunate strategic geography of being central to France. I was wondering why my friend seemed almost apologetic when she told me the location of her wedding – it seems Vichy is the only place in all of France where historic houses, rolling fields of sunflowers and kids running down dirt roads with oversized bread reminds them more of Nazi’s than cottage country.

Shadow in Barn, Vichey, France

It’s kind of a shame really that to most French people the name Vichy refers more to the government of occupied France than the country region.

Boy and Pool, Vichey, France

Noemi’s wedding was stunning. She used the family estate which has is several generations old but has only been in her family for 2 generations. She has at her disposal, two 1500 century houses and a stunning 13 bedroom 18th century mansion attached to a huge field of sunflowers. It seriously looked like a Monet painting if it were not blurry and a painting. There was also a very cool looking tower which I was told once belonged to a castle on the estate. These days the castle tower is a place to keep pigeons – seriously – its PURPOSE is to be a home for pigeons! Pigeons can pick at my take-out containers in the city – let JOE live in the creepy tower!

Vichey, France

Photographing a wedding of mostly French people was very interesting. Everyone, especially the children have very expressive faces. The custom for wedding photos in France is to approach it more from a photo journalistic approach. This suited me just fine as I didn’t bring any of my fancy and heavy stuff I usually have to drag around for my North American weddings. Also, most of the day I took the “photo journalistic strategic position” -  right beside the food table.

Baby, Vichey, France

After the wedding, I headed straight back to Paris where Noemi’s apartment was vacant because of her honeymoon (how do you write the sound of cash registers? Cha Ching?) The apartment given to me for the week is quite central to Paris and is more of the student/business area with every single shop in the area selling computer equipment. When I finally broke down and purchased a new power supply for my computer I literally walked across the street to purchase it.

Baby (or cabbage patch doll) Vichey, France

After a few days of wandering the streets of Paris nursing a newly acquired throat infection, Piper my girlfriend joined me and had one day of healthy health before she caught my throat infection and turned that into a fever with an added ear infection.

Wedding Vichey, France

Oh the wonders of Paris! I have seen so much this week. In the one day of health I saw the big metal thingy; I crawled over to a Henri Cartier Bresson exhibition which stapled up some of his most famous photos for all the world to see.

Wedding Vichey, France

In the past few years I have had a terrible regret. I am ashamed to admit that I never got to see “The Legend of Bagger Vance” when it came out in theatres, when it came out on DVD or when it was played for nearly two months for free on my parent’s satellite television. In fact, I recall going to a video store one evening and the only new release option left was that movie and I sadly declined to watch it in favor of drinking a tall glass of water and going to bed.

Wedding Vichey, France

As fate will have it, this time in Paris I got my chance to lay ill on the couch and watch “The Legend of Bagger Vance”. What a treat! Have you seen “The Legend of Bagger Vance”? On Blu-Ray? Wow, thank God Noemi had no other English movies or even any French movies with subtitles. It’s kind of like the movie “Tin Cup” if instead of Robin Hood, there was a creepy black dude cracking jokes and instead of Cheech from “Cheech and Chong” there was two hours of garbage being thrown up on my face.

Wedding Food Vichey, France

Incidentally, Jack Lemmon has a very small part at the beginning of the movie where he walks down a golf course and then has a heart attack – this would be his last movie before he died. He won the academy award for this movie. Who will ever forget his magical line “My golf balls spend more time in the trees than squirrels”? It truly was the “I will make him an offer he can’t refuse” of that year. Will Smith also won best offensive black stereotype. The movie also grabbed best special effects and sound editing and best song for “Golf Jive” performed by Will Smith and Nathan Lane (the hog from Lion King). A bit of advice – if you are sick and in Paris and the only movie you can watch is “The Legend of Bagger Vance”, crawl out onto the street and die.

Paris, France

Paris, France

Paris, France

Vincenzo the "Artist" Paris, France

Kitty Daisy & Lewis Paris, France

In my recovery and Piper’s growing uncovery (her getting sicker), I managed to photograph the great British band “Kitty Daisy & Lewis” for Chart attack. They asked that I come to the club in Pigalle (Paris’s red light district and home to the “Moulin Rouge”) where they were spinning records so I ended up doing the shoot surrounded by Croatian prostitutes and guys picking up skanky girls with their new Iphone applications.

Joe/Piper Paris, France

Jerk Paris, France

Joe/Piper Paris, France

Joe/Piper Paris, France

Rock En Seine Festival Paris, France

The photos towards the end here are from Day TWO of the Rock En Seine festival. I am going back today and will have an updated blog tomorrow (hopefully).

Rock En Seine Festival Paris, France

"The Noisettes Shingai Shoniwa" Paris, France

Billy Talent Paris, France

Ebony Thomas AKA Ebony Bones Paris, France