Fudagraphy Blogography |
Jan 7th, 2009 |
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Peter Project Cd Release - sometime in December |
Happy Foo Year? (Foo-da Year? - it doesn't work well does it?) |
| I would like to explain why I have not been updating my blog. I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t have an urge to share anything. I write about meaningless things on here a lot, but that doesn’t mean that when I don’t write that I don’t even have meaningless things going on here. I have lots of meaningless crap going on. People have called me and sent me e-mails and assume I have time to build additions on their house, decode ancient texts, and journey out to places like Brampton to watch old video cassettes. Because, I mean you’re not busy are you Joe? You have nothing at ALL going on! |
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Robin Hatch - from "Sports the band" |
| I had Christmas, New Years, 7 interesting and engaging books to read, EXTREME renovations going on in my apartment, no heat for two weeks, constant shoots and personal obligations to my friends. You Bastards! I am so bloody busy! If I send you a text or if I crop a photo for you, or if I send you an alternate version of something in sepia or compressed – it requires effort on my part and in essence creates work and thus makes me busy! You who contact me and ask me for things make me do things and create work for me. HOW COULD I NOT BE BUSY?!!!! |
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Gentleman Reg - Opening for the Stars at Queen Elizabeth Theatre |
| Also, I have been too happy being busy to come on my blog and bitch about it. WELL THAT ALL CHANGED TODAY MY FRIENDS. Welcome to a big fat JOE FUDA style Rant Via the internet. I am going to teach everyone the terrible terrors of renting a shitty apartment. I am busy – but I have LOADS of time to vent about this!!!! |
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Franz Ferdinand at El Mocombo |
| I am aware that many of my friends have much worse apartment situations than me; my friend Maylee has had no running water for about two years now, my friend Dwight has mould in his walls that is likely literally killing him because of allergies, my friend Nick rents in Brampton and struggles to pay rent because he gets paid in Cheerios every week from his employer – I am very sorry for these things my friends because I have the worse fucking apartment “FOR ME”. I –Me-MY-Joe needs! I would gladly do without water and live under a moldy blanket for Cheerios then stay in my shithole of a shithole any longer. |
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Third Innaugeration of Bird Week |
| Since I have returned from Europe I had to deal with replacing key items in my room after a sublet - (tor?Ing? Sublette?) person who was renting my room accidently damaged them, a recent disgusting insect infestation that required a total of 8 full day sprayings (and hopefully not counting), 3 floods, two weeks of construction and without heat in The coldest week of December, a floor construction (because of a gross carpet that the landlord refused to have replaced). I have also sent out something in the neighborhood of 500 e-mails concerning all of this. I boldly asked for a rent reduction for December – I was denied on the grounds it was not deemed reasonable. |
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Piper with a Pipen hot cup of coffee - she's gonna hate this caption. |
| Let me add an adjective thought to your already flowering visualization of this shithole I live in. I also had a worker walk into my house without any given notice that the workers were going to enter my unit. When I was in the bathroom. I had a stranger walk into my apartment while I was on the bathroom. He had a MOUSTCHE and was VERY NICE but I don’t give a hot dump!!! (Sorry for the word visual) Wait…did someone just ask if it is illegal when someone walks into your house without your knowledge? You know what? It IS? Actually a LOT of that stuff is illegal – or annoying according to the Ontario Tennant act. But I am overreacting. |
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| Kennedy Rd - through my van windshield |
| So – here is where my new communist like manifesto is coming from. This is information all my friends should know as they travel through this crazy old world. I wanted to talk to my landlord. I don’t have a landlord. My landlord is not a person, but an entity. You CAN hold people directly responsible if they do NOT do what is required in your apartment, you cannot hold nameless corporate entities that are specified by a generic company number responsible if your place is a shithole. If your house is a shithole, there are plenty of Ontario guidelines to protect you. |
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The endless field behind my house - soon to be houses |
| If your landlord is a floating white mask who hovers above burning charcoal in front of a telecommunications portal from an alternate mathematical reality he is probably not responsible for anything. Who is responsible; why the employee (he/she/it/them) hired to hire another employee to hire another employee to sub out a contract on another employee to pass 50 bucks to some guy to take out my garbage. I was once told I would get fined if I set off the fire alarm from cooking – because some man very far away who is contracted to look after our fire alarm system has to drive here to shut it off. I am very tempted to walk up the long dirt road I live on and give ol Farmer John in the main house a talking to. If I had any idea which state that dirt road was on and if that house was a metal box orbiting the earth at this very moment. |
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Hexes and Ohs - from Montreal! |
No one is my landlord. I don’t have a landlord. This is why I have to ask 500 times to have garbage removed off my front porch or to have 7 million old phone books removed from my front hallway. I have to set off the chain of events of 45 e-mails being networked around the globe so a light will flash red instead of green and shoot a hamster a pellet who has long ago died because the lab he is in was bought out in 1987 and awaiting funding to go digital. This is the beauty of bureaucracy. You can ask five million questions and STILL be left with no answers because the diffusion of responsibility has run so thin that your complaint is no longer an actual complaint but a piece of raison on an apple and raison looking pie chart being shown every fiscal quarter to a portfolio of suit wearing, moustache curling men with ivory canes who swear that if you go near their daughter your humble father will never be allowed to enter in his ever important shoe shinning state finals next year – because THEY own the stage that the city rents from them every year. Do you understand how little sense my life makes?!!
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That’s about all I have to say. Needless to say, I can only bottle up my rage for so long; and I am sure my equally quirky roommate has similarly expressed (or not expressed seeing as we are both so wonderfully passive aggressive) feelings regarding our current living situation. I also busy because I had the flu for a week straight and was in bed and accidently watched that new Mark Walberg movie “The happening”. And got a flat tire which I had to walk to the mechanic myself. And took a part time job at a toy factory offering customer service to stupid Texans who can’t use an electronic Price I$ Right game to help pay off some Christmas gifts. And helped my friend from Ireland move into her new apartment.
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